„Nothing can last forever” – it is said in one of the famous Polish songs, and that’s true. Nothing is stable in this world, even things that appear as the most stable – finally will decay. This is the nature of this world, ruled by forces that are impossible to control by anybody. And although many scientists do their best to contradict this natural decay – material laws are following their path unflinchingly.
People say, that UFO or other strange creatures sometimes appear on the Earth. But… we are the UFOs!!! Identified objects, which appeared on the Earth, and after a set amount of time we have to leave. We put on suits enabling us to function in this world – our bodies – perfectly made appliances, which after some time of usage decay and we have to leave them. If you don’t belong to this world, then to live here you must to have a suit, through which you see, smell or hear. Sometimes, when someone’s suit has a defect, then it doesn’t work correctly: because it can’t see, or can’t hear, or is definitely immobile. To reside in such body is a nightmare…
But another world exists, another dimension where you are really yourself, without that needless corporal ballast. The concept of time doesn’t exist there, the decay processes don’t occur, death doesn’t exist. This is our real home, for which everyone yearns and when it is reached, then there is nothing else to wish for.
And so, in fact:
EVERYTHING CAN LAST FOREVER!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Do you think you can change one’s nature? I already lose hope… It is a shame for me to admit this, but I’m a very messy person… Recently, I left my glasses in the bathroom in the soap container, and I couldn’t find it anywhere. I would never think that I should look for them in the soapbox. I was already too ashamed to ask out loud: where are my glasses? Usually, my husband, with a smile answers asking: Did you check in the freezer? When I finally found them, I told myself: ENOUGH! And I put the glasses in a different place, of which I instantly forgot. I have this certain eye defect, which doesn’t require constant wearing of eye-glasses, so I keep on taking them off and putting them back on. I call my glasses “eyes” and sometimes I treat them pretty much as if they are alive. I affectionately speak to them in my mind: “Please, come out! Where did you hide again…?
So I looked for my eyes again: in the fridge, in my shoes, in the oven… Oh, they cause many worries and joys alike to me. The worries are when I can’t find them, but when I finally find them, I am very happy :) With my eyes, one never gets bored, because you can of course always go on a search for them...
I’ve already written about childbirth, but I would like to share some other thoughts that came to my mind when I was pregnant for the first time. I was a totally new, not familiar with me situation in which my body wasn’t behaving the way it used to. I was horrified to think about my growing belly even to the point that I couldn’t sleep at night, and the morning sickness only powered up my mental dilemmas. I was most afraid of giving birth! What is going to happen?! How will it be?!Maybe I’ll share the fate of many women who died during this horrifying event?! What if the child is sick?! I pushed such thoughts to the end of my consciousness. When started having my first labor pains, I didn’t believe that it had already come. My husband also wasn’t sure. When I told him about the “weird” pains, he said: “Go, and lie down, maybe it’ll stop.”
But the pains didn’t go away, on the contrary - they were worse and worse, to the point where nothing could push aside the moment which appeared so instantly and was to change my life forever. I was to become a mother for the first time.
When I was lying in the hospital, my mind was going crazy: So here I am now, and now THIS is going to happen! This moment, of which I knew for about 9 months, has come, and I’m in a situation in which I’ve never been. Something absolutely new! You can’t do anything to change the way of events, I’m just totally left to what’s going to happen. I can’t say: Excuse me, I don’t want this, I want to go home!
There, I thought that from the practical point of view, this can be compared to death. Everyone knows that there will come a moment where you’ll be in a totally new situation, where you can’t do anything but wait for the fate to decide. You won’t be able to go back, rewind and say: I want to go home! You will not know where will you go, what is waiting for you there, because no one knows what is on the other side…. So I thought:
I HAVE TO PREPARE FOR THIS!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Love is blind. But it is the most beautiful ineffectuality that I wish to every one of you. Because to love, means to be happy. Each one of us is looking for this happiness – it is our inherent characteristic, which is compared to wetness: you can’t separate wetness from water, and in the same way you can’t separate the desire to love from every spirit soul. We can see this in many instances. We, for example have a cat on our balcony, she just got domesticated here. We live on the first floor, and the balcony is open, so anyone can just go up here any time. And the cat just came to us and stayed. She lives in a carton quite satisfied with life. When I look at this animal, I observe how much love, attention and care she desires from another person. When Satya opens the balcony, our cat meows and fawns, showing how she wants love. In the beginning we thought she was hungry, but when bring her nice goodies, she hardly even looks at them, and still wants care. You have pet her, say sweet words and then she feels loved. Nothing is weird in that. Every one of us needs to love and be loved. Because, as I’ve already said, to love means to be happy, it means to locate you heart someplace where you don’t worry about it being broken and crushed. Only in this state, one may feel truly satisfied and fulfilled. Let me put here the most beautiful description of love:
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing.
Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
An ideal description, I don’t know a better one than this. The one who wrote it must have experienced the taste of real love. It is sad that this feeling is so rare in this world, as one great philosopher said: “Real love between people has become so rare that people don't even know what it is”…
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Generally, people like to sing, to hum something. Even those who can’t really sing. I saw an elderly man the other day, who was fixing his bike. I almost stopped: he was singing so frantically during his activity, that I wondered if everything was alright with him. It turned out that he simply had a good day, even to the point that I picked up his happy mood too. I smiled at him, and he jumped on his bike and still singing loudly, went on his way. A really simple activity, but brings so much joy. I thought that if he knew mantras, he wouldn’t only get a mental happiness.
Mantras are unusual sounds. They give refuge to the soul and body; they are a natural sustenance for all living beings. They act on an invisible, subtle level. Sometimes people ask how those sounds work. The nicest and really accessible way of explaining this, is with the example of the sun. The sun is very far away, but it has a great impact on us if we come under its influence. Someone may not believe, shake their head in disbelief – the effect will take place. You only need to sit in a sunny place for some time and you may want to or not, your skin will get tanned.
It is similar with mantras. If you come into contact with them, if you repeat, listen or meditate on them – there will be a subtle effect on you so that you gradually begin to experience the inner satisfaction, see things as they really are. You may believe or not, but you can be just skeptical. If you are sincere, and consequently repeat for example the simple: Gopala Govinda Rama Madana Mohana, simply to check if it works – it works. Like the sun. :-)
I just looked at my last post, and I just thought that I must write a story entitled “Happiness or distress – you never know”.
Before the II war there was a farmer and his neighbor. The farmer had a horse, which meant wealth in those times. The neighbor came to him and said: “You are so lucky! You have a horse, you are very well off.”, but the farmer responded: “Happiness or distress – who knows, maybe happiness, maybe distress. After this, they went their ways. Some days later, the farmer’s horse got scared and ran away. The neighbor came again and said: You had a horse, and now, what unhappiness has happened to you!” the farmer replied:” Happiness or distress – who knows, maybe happiness, maybe distress.” Few days later, the horse came back, followed by a second horse. Of course, the neighbor again said:”Oh, you’re so lucky, you had one horse, now you have two!” the farmer replied: “Happiness or distress – who knows, maybe happiness, maybe distress.” The new horse was quite wild, so the farmer’s son wanted to break it in. Unfortunately, he fell from it and broke both of his legs. The neighbor said: Oh! What a grief, it’s all because of that horse!, but the farmer as usual answered: “Happiness or distress – who knows, maybe happiness, maybe distress.” The war started, the neighbor’s son went to the army, but the farmer’s son couldn’t go, because he had both of his legs broken. The neighbor as usual said: “You are lucky, my son went to the army and yours didn’t.” the farmer answered:” Happiness or distress – who knows, maybe happiness, maybe distress.” Etc., etc…
The moral of this story is that you never know what is happiness and what can be called distress.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Whenever I have a desire of something, I always consider if it’s really good for me. I remember when I was pregnant for the first time, I really wanted the child which was to be born, to be a boy. I couldn’t imagine being n a different situation (I’m sure Satya will be sad when she reads this…), but some strange force rejected taking care of a girl. It’s a very personal confession, but I’m not very sentimental. I approach matters that happened but are not present any more with a distance. As in the saying: what was, but isn’t anymore etc. But let me continue…
When the delivery time came, it was late night. New situation, new challenge, and of course a big unknown: WHAT WILL BE BORN??? My prayers for a boy reached their climax! I started promising to myself, that I will be a exemplary mom, I will take care of my son as best as I can, that I will never let anything bad happen to him etc.
And it happened. The nurse assisting in the birth put away the new born child to some place they put the infants, and said right behind my head: “A cute, healthy little girl.” and… her face immediately turned into total shock. Turning my head around to see the child, I yelled: “WHAT??? A GIRL???? What girl? Excuse me, but I’m not ready for a girl!!!”
I saw a crying baby, whose skin had taken on a purple color in the light of the neon bulb. I was shocked. Mad, that my prayers had not been answered: What should I do now?! Run away from here as fast as possible and never come back!”
I pushed away the feeling that wanted to be spoken out loud with great hardship, and hugged “the little girl”. After a few moments, having kept her next to me, I realized that this is MY girl that I have to take care of her, feed her, that she has no one other than me in the world. I realized that I have no impact on so many things happening around me, and those that are to come. I thanked God for the fact that He knows what He’s doing. I relaxed knowing that: everything is in His hands. Whatever happens to me is GOOD, because God is GOOD, and he knows what is good for me. Whew, what a refuge. Different thing may be happening to us in this travel of life, but the art of it is to accept them as they are. The art, that makes us feel stronger and peaceful.
This whole unusual life affected my life greatly, and… I am a happy mom! :)
Sometimes I think about the mundaneness of life. People appear and disappear like bubbles. When I saw an obituary of my neighbor, whom I knew quite well, I was overwhelmed… Man, where is he now??? I can remember his face, attitude, the way he moved, how he talked in his distinctive hoarse voice, how he smiled, answered my “Good morning”. But now he is gone. I will never ever see him… Never, never NEVER!!! The same thing is with my aunt. She died so suddenly. She just got sick and left this world. My uncle, as the closest person to her, was sunk into deep mourning, nothing was of interest to him, life stopped having any sense. He wanted to go after her, and he was totally depressed, and numb with despair, knowing that this moment has not yet come, and no one knows how long does he have to wait for it.
Fortunately, he found refuge in prayer, in the faith that they will meet each other again after his death. You never know about this, that you’ll see the person again after death, but the fact that he soothed his pain in the spiritual aspect of life is just fascinating!!! For his other relatives, he became a boring drag, even a nutcase, who keeps on talking about God, about death, and heaven. But he is bursting with energy! He’s laughing, lives his internal life, his point of view of the worries of the world has changed. One can say that he’s already halfway on the other side, he doesn’t care who is going to be the next president of Poland, if the oil is up or down, how is the euro to Polish zloty etc.
It is very important to have your internal life, which will help you protect yourself from the most unwanted situations which occur even if we really don’t want them.
I don’t want to hear anyone say that there is no God, that God is just a fiction for good children, that God is old-fashioned. Without God, nothing can keep in order, without His presence, you cannot explain many things that we don’t understand. Faith in Him inspires, helps one come out from the deepest regions of fear, depressions or pain; every refuge that one may experience from these things is a proof to His existence. Those who know that God exists – know what I am talking about.
Friday, May 7, 2010
When my kids are around, I can be sick as long as I want. They take care of me very nicely, ask how I am feeling every moment, and I’m just thinking if I shouldn’t lie, and make this laziness time a bit longer. I’m really surprised by their behavior. The dinner is cooked on time, the house is clean, and I can even hear the sounds of the washing machine. Wow, I didn’t expect that. I think I’ll get “sick” more often, so that they can show what nice children they are. Usually it’s me who makes sure they have everything on time, and because I’m quite hermetic, I don’t like to be disturbed in my house jobs. So, in these conditions, my kids don’t have a good opportunity to develop such habits. But this is actually very important. Everything is shaped in the childhood: what the children see in their family is later carried on by them to their own “nests”: the atmosphere, traditions, behavior towards the family members, or even the way of cooking. Satya is already cooking like me. Maybe she has her favorite, but generally always asks how to prepare the given dishes, and I can already see her in the future cooking all the meals we have in our family.
Yes, my week of sick leave hasn’t made any harm to anyone yet.
As I’m writing about the resourcefulness of my kids, I remember a funny story that happened a few years ago, when Satya was 10 and Sanatan 8. We lived in a city next to the sea, where the trees bore many fruits in summer, including white and black mulberries. My kids decided to pick many of those mulberries to plastic cups and they will try to sell them on the nearest market place. With great passion and determination, they picked a bowl of the berries, took the plastic cups, a piece of paper with the price on it, a folding table from the basement, and… went to trade. I was just dying of curiosity what was happening there, but as I couldn’t stop doing my duties, I just waited for them to return. When they came back, their excitement reached its climax – it wasn’t a bummer for them that they only earned a few pennies, that almost no one wanted to buy their “goods”, and they were therefore “forced” to eat all of the goods up.
The most important thing was the experience that they gained: money doesn’t just lie on the street; one has to work hard to get it.